Bringing a Book to the Bar: Embracing the Reader You Are

I prefer the company of books to that of most people. I like to be social at times, to be out and about, but I prefer to do it with an emotional support book or kindle. I'm wondering, is there an unspoken rule somewhere against getting a little dolled up and taking your book on a date? Or bringing it to girls night? Is it rude? Is it my own boundary setting? Am I Carrie Bradshaw making life analogies out of shoes?

Books have always been closer to my reality than real life. I've sought the comfort of a good historical fiction more often than the arms of a hug. I get excited to mark a book as complete on my Goodreads account, to see how far ahead of pace I am on my reading goal. My planned workout is often diverted to a Peloton ride so I can read one more chapter. The better the book, the longer my ride.

For years I worried about the stares I felt when sitting down at a nice restaurant, either by myself or with a friend, and read. I stayed in my head wondering if my friends understood that it wasn't that I didn't want their company, I wanted it while I read my book. I endured the bar scene with a book by my side. The first time I was headed to a Phoenix pool party, I had a Michael Crichton novel in hand ready for a day of sunny reading. The group of guys I was with proceeded to explain that one doesn't just bring a book to these types of shindigs. Unfortunately, my book didn't make it to the Uber and the day was worse for it.

The fear goes away. Start small. Take your book and no phone to your next doctors or salon appointment. Challenge yourself to a solo date. Pick a restaurant that you want to just sit at the bar with your book at. The hardest thing is starting. The more often you try it, the less taboo you feel about it and the more comfortable in your skin you get. Life is too damn short to worry about if people are staring at you for liking to read.

There's never been a time I've regretted bringing my book. I hate carrying things but somehow I've never considered a book in my hand a burden. Is it anxiety? Does it make me antisocial? Does it make me anymore antisocial than the person doom scrolling next to me?

I don't have the answer. There's still a little guilt attached when I read my book in the roller coaster line with my family. But, life is too short to not do the things you want with the time you have. I have entered my thirties and am somehow surrounded by a strong core of people who accept me for the girl who will always have a book with her. Someone who can at times be a shell of a person until someone brings up a book that touched her soul.